Note: This post is about something personal that I wish to share. It's not about politics, technology or education. It is about communication...spiritual communication.
It's funny to think about what major holidays mean to you and why we celebrate them. I've gone through various phases in my life and dealt with the holidays and celebrations in many ways.
As a kid, Easter meant a big basket full of chocolate eggs, jelly beans and various little toys; an Easter egg hunt at Grandmom's; dying hard-boiled eggs; and being forced to wear a floral dress. All of these activities were traditions, but I never really understood the holiday until I was much older.
Throughout my teenage years, I struggled with my religious and spiritual beliefs. I spent a lot of time exploring the meaning surrounding the various holidays. During this time, I focused on the resurrection of Christ and what that meant during Easter.
College saw my beliefs fade into the background as other priorities took over. I went through the motions during my undergraduate years with the holidays and fell into a commercial celebration of them.
When I reached Virginia Tech, I began again to explore my beliefs and started my path back to a more spiritual being. The past two years I've spent more time on reflecting on the meaning of the holy period of Lent, giving myself a challenge and spending more time repenting for my sins. I also focused on the rebirth aspect of Easter, allowing for the creation of a new 'me' through the Lenten process.
This year was an interesting Lent due to where I am in my life. The past year has been rote with struggle and I've been forced to adapt to the changing tides. As the 40 days passed this year, I allowed myself to meditate and carefully consider where I had been and where I wanted to go. Yesterday all of that came to fruition when I attended service with Sue and Connie at Sue's church.
One of my most productive times spiritually is not productive in other ways. This aspect of my 'spiritual maintenance' always frustrates me because I always use my time very carefully. With that said, I gave myself to 'the spirit' once I got to the church. No matter what was bothering me that morning. It didn't matter how my outfit looked or that I was having a bad hair day, it was no longer about me...it was about the connection. Giving up control in a particular situation is a difficult task for people who want things a certain way. However, there are times in your life when you have to consider whether having control is really important.
As I sat in church for yesterday's Easter service, I got lost within my spiritual connection. I sat there listening to the messages, singing along with the hymns and praying. There were tears and laughter, but most importantly, a rebirth of my being. It's hard to describe in words, but it gave me a new perspective and I hope I can hold onto that as I open a new chapter of my life. And that is what Easter means to me. Thank you for listening.